Friday, May 30, 2008

Kissing Ronald



My first job (not counting a couple of paper routes I had) was as a cook at McDonalds. Nothing glamorous, but I earned some extra cash and got out of the house a bit more.

We used to get a meal break every shift we worked, and they were nice enough to give us a free meal. Of course I was never hungry by the time my break came. We made Big Macs six at a time, and if you “dropped’ one by accident, you would only put up five for the shift manager. Did you know you can eat a Big Mac in about three bites if you are in a hurry? And after 4 or 5 of them, you really don’t want a meal on your break.

There were other things we did for fun while working. After we closed at night there was usually a french fry fight. Those little onion rings really hurt after they have been under the heater for awhile. I later learned in chemistry class that this has to do with some property of oil and vegetables. Ouch!!!

Those ketchup and mustard bottles make good squeeze weapons as well. You can sneak up on someone and fill an ear with condiments in a split second.

One of my favorites was that every time we did something with food in the kitchen we would announce it to the shift manager. “Dropping fries!” “Six Quarter pounders on the turn!” We served fish sandwiches, as usual, so I would yell, “Shark Down!” This never failed to get a reaction out of the shift manager. We didn’t sell shark burgers after all. Some people have no sense of humor.

But the most fun was when we had a lunch break. Out back of the restaurant was a storage shed. This was used for various tools, bread storage and drink syrups. There was also a large helium tank out there. It was used to inflate balloons for birthday parties for the little kids. It had a big Ronald McDonald head on it so that it looked like Ronald was blowing up the balloons for the precious little crumb snatchers.

The other employees and I would sit in this storage shed and breath helium for our break. Kissing Ronald became the secret phrase for this activity so that the managers wouldn’t know what we were doing. That is also exactly what it looked like.

You would put your hand behind Ronald’s head to turn the valve, and you would put your lips to Ronald’s mouth, where the helium was released. We would catch a big lungful of H and lean back and say, “I love you Ronald”, in that high pitched voice.

Call it latent homosexuality if you will, but I will always remember the feeling I would get when someone would look at me at work and ask if I wanted to go kiss Ronald.

Those were the days.

-P

6 comments:

RiverPoet said...

I don't know how you do it, but you still make me laugh after all these years...and I was AROUND back then!

:-)

Love, D

Sandy said...

That is too funny!

Not Afraid To Use It said...

That is hilarious! And the fact that you can look back and find fun memories from those days shows what a great sense of humor you have. D is one lucky chickie!

Daryl said...

OMG .. I am so laughing at the image of Kissing Ronald ... and Shark Down is brilliant .. some people are just Mrs Paul lovers.

:-Daryl

highlander1463 said...

Thanks everyone. Who says you can't have fun at work?

-P

Anonymous said...

Momma said I had to come check this out after a recent post about my experiences while working at McDs.

Funny stuff. I worked back in the days when ketchup and mustard were dispensed using big metal hoppers with thumb triggers. Man, they were sloppy. This was also back before the clam shell grills, so the burgers were juicier . . .

Fun memories for the most part . . .